no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
