Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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