how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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