I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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