Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
