he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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