Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
