dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
