Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
