I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
