she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
