if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
