on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
