I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
