Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
