just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is the high leading the old right now
I need moral support for this bender
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
