I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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