so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
