Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
