When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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