Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
