i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
