There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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