I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
