its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
