I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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