she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Farmville is her only friend.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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