i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
