I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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