Do vagina's smell?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
