i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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