Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
