woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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