i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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