I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
