I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
now i know why i became what i already was.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
