Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
high people should be assigned attendants
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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