You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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