We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
