Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
