This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
