No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
