i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
