The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
