I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
