i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
