Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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