I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
