so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
