Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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