Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
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