We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
