lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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