I just pynch a tree in the face
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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