Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
