This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
