Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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