coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
