never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
